More, more, more, more, more....
Do you ever feel like you just need to do something? Not anything in particular, just an urge inside you that there something to be doing and you should be doing the thing right now and if you don't get up and do the thing, you're going to lose the chance to do it, but you have no idea what the "thing" is.
I have that feeling a lot. I'm very used to being busy. In my younger single days I always had two jobs. I would go to one job and then go to the next and then go out with friends and then wake up and do it again. If I had a day off I would fill it with things to do. Those days are long gone. I work part time and school part time right now and raise a toddler so my schedule is still full, but a different kind of full.
Sometimes I feel like I'm always doing something but accomplishing nothing at all. I feel like I should have more to show for my efforts. I should have a sparkling clean house, I should have a well-behaved child that knows what "no" means. I should have the perfect marriage and feel loved and fulfilled. I should be getting straight A's and have about 18 degrees by now. I don't know where these expectations came from. I know my husband sees how hard I work and appreciates my efforts. I know my son loves me and is healthy and happy and wants for nothing. I know that I am moving forward to my degree and the career that I want. I know that I have everything that I need.
Why do I feel like it's not enough??????
Is it the world that makes me feel this way? Is it myself? I don't know. What I do know that knowing whose I am helps me to know who I am and that I am enough. Having encouraging friends and family that tell me they love me helps. Seeing how much my son is growing and learning and being constantly surprised at just how smart and fearless he is helps. Getting great feedback from my professors helps. Learning to celebrate the small successes helps!!!
The way that I feel is a direct reflection of what I choose to focus on. If I can find contentment I can feel at ease. If I can just settle in and soak up the here and now I won't feel pulled to be somewhere, anywhere else. So that's what I am going to do. Just settle down and soak it in. We have everything we need. We are here, we are healthy, we are good. Praise God and Amen!
Today's success: my son listens to my requests with only slight talk back in his own little jibberish. It's actually really cute even though I think he's telling me off.
I have that feeling a lot. I'm very used to being busy. In my younger single days I always had two jobs. I would go to one job and then go to the next and then go out with friends and then wake up and do it again. If I had a day off I would fill it with things to do. Those days are long gone. I work part time and school part time right now and raise a toddler so my schedule is still full, but a different kind of full.
Sometimes I feel like I'm always doing something but accomplishing nothing at all. I feel like I should have more to show for my efforts. I should have a sparkling clean house, I should have a well-behaved child that knows what "no" means. I should have the perfect marriage and feel loved and fulfilled. I should be getting straight A's and have about 18 degrees by now. I don't know where these expectations came from. I know my husband sees how hard I work and appreciates my efforts. I know my son loves me and is healthy and happy and wants for nothing. I know that I am moving forward to my degree and the career that I want. I know that I have everything that I need.
Why do I feel like it's not enough??????
Is it the world that makes me feel this way? Is it myself? I don't know. What I do know that knowing whose I am helps me to know who I am and that I am enough. Having encouraging friends and family that tell me they love me helps. Seeing how much my son is growing and learning and being constantly surprised at just how smart and fearless he is helps. Getting great feedback from my professors helps. Learning to celebrate the small successes helps!!!
The way that I feel is a direct reflection of what I choose to focus on. If I can find contentment I can feel at ease. If I can just settle in and soak up the here and now I won't feel pulled to be somewhere, anywhere else. So that's what I am going to do. Just settle down and soak it in. We have everything we need. We are here, we are healthy, we are good. Praise God and Amen!
Today's success: my son listens to my requests with only slight talk back in his own little jibberish. It's actually really cute even though I think he's telling me off.
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